I used to have a lot of ideas about what I wanted to do.
Not vague someday-maybe fantasies. Actual plans. Things I was going to build, write, try, start.
I had notebooks full of them. Folders on my computer. Voice memos I recorded while driving because the idea felt too good to forget.
And then I got a job.
Not a bad job. A decent one. The kind people congratulate you for getting. The kind that pays the bills and comes with benefits and makes your parents stop worrying about whether you’re going to be okay.
The kind that makes it harder to explain why you’re still thinking about the thing you said you were going to do.
Because now you have something stable. Something real. Something that doesn’t require you to bet on yourself in a way that might not work out.
And slowly, without meaning to, you stop talking about the ideas.
Not because you stopped having them. Because talking about them started to feel embarrassing.
Like you were pretending you were going to do something you both knew you weren’t.
This is where dreams go to die.
Not in some dramatic moment where you give up and walk away.
In the space between having the idea and doing anything about it.
In the months where you tell yourself you’ll start once things calm down at work.
In the years where you keep meaning to get back to it but never do.
In the moment when you realize you’ve been saying “I’m going to” for so long that even you don’t believe it anymore.
Nobody kills your dreams on purpose. You just stop feeding them. And eventually they stop bothering you.
I think about this every time someone tells me about something they want to do.
Not the polished elevator pitch version. The real one. The thing they’ve been thinking about for months or years but haven’t started yet.
They always sound a little apologetic when they say it. Like they’re confessing something instead of sharing it.
“I’ve been thinking about starting a podcast.”
“I want to write a book someday.”
“I have this idea for a business, but I don’t know if it’s any good.”
And I can hear it in their voice. The space between wanting to do it and believing they actually will.
Because they’ve been here before. They’ve had ideas that didn’t go anywhere. They’ve started things they didn’t finish. They’ve told people about plans that never happened.
And now they’re careful. They hedge. They don’t say “I’m doing this.” They say “I’ve been thinking about it.”
Because thinking about it doesn’t cost anything. Thinking about it can’t fail.
The job isn’t the villain here.
Neither is the mortgage, the kids, the responsibilities, the fact that life got more complicated than it used to be.
Those are real. They matter. Nobody gets to pretend adult life doesn’t come with obligations.
But I think we use them as cover sometimes.
We say we don’t have time, when what we mean is we’re afraid it won’t work.
We say we’re too busy, when what we mean is we don’t want to be the person who tried and failed.
We say we’ll do it later, when what we mean is we’re hoping the idea will go away so we don’t have to face the fact that we didn’t chase it.
And eventually it does go away. Or it stops feeling urgent. Or we convince ourselves it wasn’t that important.
And that’s how dreams die. Not with a bang. With a long quiet fade into “maybe someday.”
Here’s what I’ve learned about someday.
It doesn’t come.
Someday is what you say when you don’t want to say never.
Someday is the place where ideas go to wait until you’re brave enough, rich enough, free enough, ready enough.
And you’re never going to be any of those things. Not in the way you think you need to be.
You’re just going to keep being the person you are now. With the same fears. The same doubts. The same list of reasons why it’s not the right time.
The only difference between the idea that stays an idea and the thing you actually do is whether you started.
Not when you were ready. Not when it was perfect. Not when you had it all figured out.
Just started.
I’m not saying quit your job and bet everything on a dream.
I’m saying stop pretending you’re going to do the thing someday if you’re not doing anything about it today.
Either do it, or stop carrying it around like unfinished business.
Because the weight of an idea you’re not doing anything about is heavier than the weight of trying and failing.
At least failure gives you information. At least you know.
Carrying the idea forever without acting on it just makes you tired.
And eventually you stop being the person who has ideas. You become the person who used to.
, if you’ve been saying you’re going to do something for more than a year and you haven’t started, you’re not going to do it.
Not because you can’t. Because you already decided not to. You just haven’t admitted it yet.
So either start. Or let it go. But stop living in someday.
Someday isn’t real. It’s just the place where dreams go to die quietly.
More Thursday
// Scorpio Veil
If this brought something up for you and you want to work through it privately, I have sessions open.
There’s a free 20-minute inquiry call if you have questions, or a 60-minute Scorpio Veil Session if you’re ready.